A Few 2012 Predictions Because I'm Bored

Obama is finally going to admit to his incompetence saying "fuck it, I'd rather play golf anyway", leaving the White House in his mom jeans, a pack of smokes and shouldering his bag of sticks and balls.

In a last ditch effort to save the U.S. dollar from total irrelevancy, the Fed is going to print rolls of Benjamins for sanitary use.

The rumored Apple TV will in fact become a wonderful doorstop.

The end of the world will not happen but you will wish it had following the economic collapse and social turmoil that will ensue.

You'll be happy buying a gold coin or two at $1400, sad when your purchase falls to $1200 while grudgingly buying another couple, then ecstatic when the price of gold reaches past $1800 by the end of the year.

You'll need big balls if you've bought silver. It will greet $17 in short order. Dumbasses the world over will be flinging themselves into the path of moving buses and whirling prop plane blades grieving their egregious losses. Survivors will be curling their mustaches with cognac fingertips as the price recovers into the mid 30's.

God is going to make it official and give Adele wings to go with her heavenly voice.

Jennifer Aniston still won't make a movie worth a crap.

People will finally discover what a kick-ass TV show Supernatural is while at the same time figuring out how over-rated The Walking Dead has become.

2012 will be the first year that every Hollywood movie released into general consumption will be a sequel, remake or creation of some comic book.

Microsoft's Windows phone will surprise folks and become a viable alternative to the proprietary arrogance of Apple's iPhone and something different from the ubiquitous Android.

Gun sales will increase every month in 2012. Interestingly, Apple's iGun flops due to proprietary ammo and yearly magazine upgrades.

The Internet, and more specifically the World Wide Web, will become endangered by the American political class seeking to gain additional control over the herd. Internet taxes will be widely discussed as well as steps to censure content. The result is likely to unite leftists, independents and conservatives like nothing else could have. Lost Ball retreats to Usenet while a splork is rumored to be growing grapes on a Chilean plantation.